Lessons in Ridiculousness: Taking Buses Through Northern Laos

Luang Nam Tha was the first town of our northern Laos "Off the Beaten Track" tour. It was near a National Protected Area, where we did an 18 km kayak trip down the Nam Tha River. The day involved navigating various classes of rapids, visiting two hill tribe villages, and eating a BBQ lunch (including a delicious bass) cooked at the side of the river.

Sidenote: roads in northern Laos were all kinds of crazy. Mountains, hairpin turns, unsealed sections with potholes the size of St. Bernards, and more cow obstacles than New Zealand meant we kept an average speed of 25 - 35 km/h. This makes for slooooooooow going. Heaps of Gravol made the trip fine for us, if a little hot and uncomfortable at times, but on each bus ride at least 5 to 6 Laos people were constantly throwing up (and then chucking the plastic puke bags out the window and into the countryside - painful to watch). The views over the dramatic cliffs and valleys, and the lovely sunsets, made the journey worth it.

From Luang Nam Tha we caught a 9-hour bus to Nong Khiaw, a beautiful riverside town completely surrounded by limestone karsts. This was our favourite spot in Laos. We did various hikes to caves (which housed 100 people hiding from bomb attacks during the Indo-China War) and waterfalls. It was gloriously quiet with excellent food and friendly locals.

Next up was a 12-hour bus to Sam Neua, which involved two bus break-downs and Andrea getting puked on by a 5-year-old. We arrived at midnight, two hours late, and faced the challenge of finding an open guest house in the middle of the night during a power outage - the city was pitch black. Sam Neua didn't have much to offer, so we left after two days.

On the 9-hour bus ride to Phonsavan the little girl in front of us threw up, no joke, at least 25 times - luckily into bags instead of on Andrea. Curiously, we found the best Indian restaurant outside of India in Phonsavan, run by an Indian lady in a sari. It was a treat but reminded Craig how much he misses Indian food - Laos food, usually noodle soup and fried rice dishes, just isn't the same, especially when you're eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner some days.

Touring through the north, we learned about the "Secret War" that devastated Laos in the 60s and 70s. The US carpet-bombed eastern and northeastern Laos from 1965 to 1973 because of the presence of the North Vietnamese during the "American War" (as the Vietnam War is known here in Southeast Asia). One statistic we found particularly devastating was that it is estimated that America dropped an average of 1 planeload of bombs every 8 minutes, 24 hours a day, for 9 years. This amounts to 1.9 million metric tonnes of bombs - or 2 tonnes for every person in Laos. Unfortunately, the country is still scattered with unexploded ordinance, which has killed at least 10,000 innocent people so far, and which means that literally going "off the beaten track" in many places is NOT recommended!

We are now back in Vientiane, the capital city, after an 11-hour bus ride south. Tonight we board an air-conditioned sleeper bus (complete with beds! how posh!) for the 16-hour-plus ride to Hanoi, in north Vietnam.

Overall, the people and the landscape of northern Laos (and the yummy meat salads) have been wonderful. After we are done touring Cambodia we may pop back into south Laos to see what adventures await us there!